For public speakers:
You went through a challenge and there is a person who caused it or increased your pain. And he/she is an important element in your speech; helps your message comes across. But you don’t want to spotlight the person. You may worry if bringing the person might offend him/her.
Don’t omit the person. But the best way to do is that you change his/her name, gender, age, to make the person unidentifiable. For a reason that the person who wronged you in the past doesn’t have to be punished. Your intention is NOT to make you feel better. Your job is to deliver your message to your audience.
So if the person who wronged you or caused you great pain needs to be in your story, she/he needs to be in it. But protect his/her identify. Take the blame if someone says it’s not accurate. The accuracy of the character is not the main issue to your speech. You want to protect his/her identify. No one needs to be punished publicly. Most likely, she or he even doesn’t remember the incident. It’s your story.